Live ChatDavid Murray was SSAFA Controller for four years, joining the charity directly after serving as a senior member of the Royal Household as the Defence Services Secretary for almost three years. He had a distinguished career in the Royal Air Force, serving for 33 years having joined up aged just 19 years old.
During his final years in the RAF, as the Defence Service Secretary he had an office in Buckingham Palace and another in MOD and was responsible for the Armed Forces’ relationship with the Royal Household. Acting as the official link between the Royal Navy, the Army, the Royal Air Force and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
“In my role I would convey information both to the Palace and from the Palace, and back into the Armed Forces. It was a very easy role, because Her Majesty and the rest of the Household were very interested in the military, and were extremely well-informed about what was going on. So, it was an open door. They wanted to know what was going on, and at the same time, when information needed passing the other way, that was very easy to do as well. Some of it wasn't always very easy information, some of it was very sensitive information, but it needed to be done.
“For example, when somebody died in Afghanistan or Iraq, one of the first things I had to do was to inform the appropriate Royal. For example, if it was somebody from one of the Guard's regiments of which the Queen was the Honorary Colonel, she wanted to know straight away.
“Her Majesty is probably the most informed person I have ever met. Not just about the military, but in general. She has so many conduits of information coming into her. She was just so well-informed. Half the time, I thought, when I was telling her something, she probably already knew it, or if I was being asked about something, she probably already knew the answer and was double-checking, to make sure she got the same answer twice.”
David was serving as Defence Service Secretary in the Royal Household in the early years of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. He was working in the Palace at the same time that Prince Harry, the Queen’s grandson, was deployed to Afghanistan as an Apache Pilot for his second tour of the conflict.
“When I was in the role, it was at the height of Afghanistan and Iraq when there was a lot of death and injuries occurring. There was a huge amount of politics around it, of course, but the Royal element kept well above the politics, and were mainly interested in the human element of people.”
“I organised quite a few Royal visits quietly and not so quietly to UK units, particularly when a particular regiment or a squadron or a ship was away. The Royal family were very good at visiting the families, and had a great deal of interest in service families, particularly when there had been a fatality. For example, every year up at the National Memorial Arboretum, the names of those who had died in the previous 12 months would be formally unveiled on the stone wall there. Without fail, a senior Royal would come along to that event. I remember going up to one with the Queen when there were 100 names being unveiled that year, and the Queen was outstanding, absolutely outstanding, in the amount of time and the amount of concern that she showed to individual widows, mums and dads and the families of those who had died. She was really good at that.
“In the same way, I used to attend all of the investitures at Buckingham Palace and Windsor - that was normal business. But if there was a gallantry medal to be awarded posthumously to the next of kin of somebody who had been killed in action, that was always done privately. Just Her Majesty, one or two of her staff, myself, and the family, where the medal was presented in a very dignified and a very personal way by Her Majesty. The Queen insisted that she presented all the posthumous medals herself, because she recognised the importance of them.
“While she would empathise, you would never see her publicly showing emotion, because that would be inappropriate. She was there as The Queen, she was not there as a mourner. That said, she certainly felt it, and I have seen some of the letters that she wrote to families, personal ones, and she really empathised and sympathised."
David believes that are three reasons why the Armed Forces meant so much to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
“First, let's remember that her grandfather, her father, her husband, her son, and her grandson had all served on operations. She was from a military family. She had been a mum at home worrying about her son being on operations. Her husband had a great war record. During the war, she really wanted to do her bit. She got it – she really got it.
“Second, she shared the same principles as the Services have. The respect, the integrity, the duty, the loyalty. She lived that, day in, day out, and hopefully that is what the Services do. There was that great empathy.
“Third, she had a personal interest in and understanding of service people and their families, because she went and visited them. She met them, she talked to them. They were her Armed Forces, they did not belong to Parliament and she really took that responsibility seriously. She was fiercely, fiercely loyal, and fiercely, fiercely proud of them, and what they achieved.”
“I was constantly surprised by her level of understanding and personal knowledge. So, for example, I was talking to her about a particular regiment which was to be disbanded and amalgamated with others to form a bigger regiment. I started to talk to her about the regimental colonel, who was a lieutenant general of that particular organisation. She said, 'Yes, I know him well, and I knew his father and his grandfather.' And she also knew the name of the regimental sergeant major. I was deeply impressed at that.”
David recalls that in 2010 when the Icelandic volcano erupted sending a large ash cloud into the atmosphere, and leading to the cancellation and grounding of 100,000 flights around the world, the Queen’s first thought was for wounded troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.
“The ash cloud was stopping flights around the world getting through and the first thing that Her Majesty asked me was “With this ash cloud sitting over Europe, how are we going to bring home injured servicemen, safely and in time, to make sure that they get to hospital quickly?” That was typical of the questions that she would ask me.”
David believes Queen Elizabeth II had a personal touch, a way with people, an ability to talk to people from all walks of life. But that she, herself, was particularly at ease with the Armed Forces community.
“She was so outstanding with people, putting them at their ease. I have seen staunch republicans standing in front of her turning into quivering little jellies. Her Majesty was physically a small woman with piercing blue eyes, but she had this tremendous presence. However, being very self-aware, she was really good at putting people at their ease.
“Whether she was talking to the Chief of the Defence Staff or a young private soldier or having a conversation with the mother of a young soldier or airman who has been killed, Her Majesty could communicate with them, she was never stuck for words. I heard her doing all three and she was outstanding in the way that she could empathise. However, she was still the Queen. She was never going to be your best mate, she was never going to be your aunty or your granny, she was the Queen, so there was always that distance, but she would always cut through that, talk to people and put them at their ease.”
During his time at the Palace, the Queen celebrated her Diamond Jubilee. Traditionally as part of Jubilee celebrations a military muster for each of the Armed Forces would be held, requiring the Queen to travel to different locations to witness the Army, Royal Air Force and Royal Navy put on their displays and parades in her honour.
“When it came to the Diamond Jubilee I suggested to Her Majesty that in view of the fact that she was 85, perhaps rather than her travelling long distances to go and visit the Royal Navy, the Army and the Royal Air Force, the individual single Services should come together to Windsor to visit her together. She agreed, so we mounted a parade of some 3,500 people with a flypast of about 100 aircraft. It all worked very well and she was delighted, and I remember her clapping her hands with pleasure, as RAF aircraft came over in formation, spelling out “E11R” and “60”. At the beginning of the day of the muster she had told the Chief of the Defence Staff that she had high expectations for the day. I noted with interest his relief when I told him at the end of the day that Her Majesty had asked me to pass to him the message that “The muster had, if anything, exceeded her already high expectations.”
“The Queen needed to see people and more importantly, people also needed to see the Queen and look her in the eye. History teaches us that servicemen and women need to know who their monarch is. Of course, they knew who the Queen was but to look her in the eye whilst she looked them in the eye, which is what she did, it gave them confidence that this person cared about them and was interested in them.”
The Queen’s eye for detail and understanding of the military protocols is well documented. And David recalls a moment during a private lunch with the Queen when her keen eye for detail, and her sharp wit were on display.
“I had been sitting in The Queens private sitting room at Windsor, having had lunch with her and she looked out of the window and there was a Guardsman out there who had a white webbing belt on, who was resting his rifle butt on his webbing belt, frankly because he was being idle. He was about 40 metres away and Her Majesty said to me 'Is that a new drill movement?' I said 'Leave it with me, ma'am' and very shortly afterwards we saw the regimental sergeant major, almost doubling around the grass of the Upper Ward at Windsor, to grip this young guard because the Queen had seen him dropping his standards.”
After having supported the Queen and the Royal Household through the Diamond Jubilee, Prince William’s wedding and some of the most dramatic days of the Afghanistan and Iraq conflicts, David was offered the job as Controller of SSAFA. Which meant he had to have a very difficult conversation with his Monarch; he had to tell the Queen he was leaving her service.
“After interviews and so on, I was kindly offered the job as SSAFA Controller and the next time that I saw Her Majesty, she said, 'I understand that you are leaving us early.' I confirmed that I was and she asked me why. I explained that I had I had been offered a job at which point she looked me in the eye and said 'But you already have a job.' That is a very serious and difficult conversation to have with your Monarch.
"However, she then asked me 'What is this job?' to which I replied, 'It is the Controller of a charity called SSAFA.' You can only imagine my relief when she said 'SSAFA, a wonderful charity, I have known them for years, I have been a Patron of them for years, you go with my blessing.'
“Some 6 months later, SSAFA were just on the point of moving to the new head office, where they are now, so I wrote to the Private Secretary, the now Lord Geidt, to explain to our Patron that we were moving and to ask whether there was any chance of a Royal opening. Usually it takes a long time for these things to work their way through the system but within about a week I got a phone call back from Lord Geidt to say, 'Yes, of course, and you don't mind if she brings the Duke of Edinburgh as well, do you?' It was as simple as that.
“It all went very well, because I knew what sort of things she was interested in and what she liked to do. I took the view, that rather than spend ages on detailed briefings we should focus on making sure the volunteer trustees, the staff and some of our beneficiaries should be front and centre as it was their day. I tried to keep out of the way as much as possible so it was a little amusing when one of the trustees took it upon himself to formally introduce me to her. She played along with it before bursting out laughing, much to his confusion and embarrassment when she explained the reason for her laughter – I don’t think that he ever did forgive me!”
Air Vice-Marshal The Honourable David Murray CVO OBE DL is Deputy Lieutenant for Suffolk and was a Gentleman Usher to Her Majesty the Queen until her death.